Health, Hope and Miracles…

To say the least, it has been a busy fall. Surgery was the last week of September.  Post transplant involves lots of blood tests and clinic visits.  Eric is doing well.  In fact, despite all the anti-rejection medications, he is taking fewer meds than before the surgery.  He never had any pain.  He is excited to be able to eat foods that from which he was restricted for so long.  Funny how someone could actually miss a potato or eggplant… 

Our goal in finding a living donor was to ensure Eric did not get to the point where he felt very ill or needed dialysis.  We did not have huge expectations of him bounding back.  In fact, our goal was to get him to a point where he felt as well as he did before the surgery.  We know that a kidney transplant includes a road to recovery.  We have, I believe, achieved that goal physically.

We are now starting to breathe.  While we still worry about his kidney function levels and rejection of the new kidney, we also have hope that his future includes healing. We no longer worry about finding a living kidney donor, which quite honestly, was the most difficult and stressful part of our journey.  Being sick is really hard.  Having to actually go out and find your own treatment in the form of a living donor rather than having faith in the medical system to save one’s life, is impossible to fathom.  But we did it, and have a renewed sense that however difficult things are, there is hope and miracles do come true.   

On Christmas Eve, it will be three months since Eric’s kidney transplant.  Tonight, we are concluding the celebration of Hanukkah and the lighting of eight candles.  Both holidays incorporate the celebration of miracles.  Hanukkah marks the importance of and rising to life’s challenges.  I recently read an article by Rabbi Elyssa Cherney that discusses “8 Core Values of Hanukkah That are Super Relevant Right Now”[i]. 

Each of the values explored by Rabbi Cherney are relevant with what is going on in the world today and the COVID-19 pandemic.  They are all so relevant to us in the wake of Eric’s kidney transplant.  Here are a few of the themes of the season in relation to living kidney transplants that hit home.

Leadership… The shamash on the Hanukkah menorah is the candle used to light all the other candles.  Eric’s donor, Joe, is like the shamash, a leader and an example for kidney donation.  We know Joe wanted to show his four children the right thing to do and by doing so, is leading the way for them to do good in the world and for others around him.  We know that the concept of donating a kidney is a daunting one but those who do are leaders, setting an example  for others to follow.

Hope… The story of Hanukkah revolves around the Maccabees who were completely outnumbered by King Antiochus’s army but did not lose hope and in the end, defeated their enemy.  Over the past eighteen months, times were very dim for us in our search for a living kidney donor. Those of you who helped us by inquiring at the Living Donor Centre (and who kept us in the loop), by sending emails and posting messages of our need on social media, provided us with the hope which we really needed  The doctors at St. Michael’s Hospital kept saying “It Just Takes One (Person)” and in the end, that proved to be true.  We were so lucky to have Joe as our one. 

Resilience… Hanukkah is celebrated for eight nights because the amount of oil found in the reclaimed Temple was enough to burn for one night but, phenomenally, lasted eight nights.  Rabbi Cherney points to the pandemic and says that “This year, when we needed to power through the myriad challenges of 2020, we learned we can do hard things.”  Going public in searchingfor a living kidney donor posed a very difficult challenge.  Eric is a private person so while people knew Eric suffered from kidney disease, they may not have realized how chronic the illness was.  We were faced with a myriad of responses most of which were very discouraging.  We had to grow more resilient as we continued to push the message out.  Resliance takes many forms and we know it is difficult but also know that it is really worthwhile; we each have it in us to forge forth in order to achieve healthy and positive outcomes.

Miracles… The fact that this is the season of miracles does not fall quietly upon us.  When we spin the dreydl,the letters on the top represent the words: NES (miracle) GADOL (great) HA’YA (happened) SHAM (there).  Miracles all around us.  Medical treatments are, indeed, a miracle.  Technological advances are a miracle.  But the greatest miracle for us has been the selfless act of receiving a living kidney donation.  We could not have taken advantage of medical or technological advances had it not been for the miracle of one person stepping forward to save a life by donating his kidney — a single act of kindness that truly changed the trajectory of Eric’s life.

Over the weeks and months ahead, we are gathering our thoughts and healing our souls and  hope to help others who are in need of finding living donors.  This act of leadership and light, resilence and miracles is one of the many things we need in the world right now. 

Whatever holiday you are celebrating this season, we wish you nothing but health, hope and miracles.

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[i] Cherney, R. (2020, December 10). 8 Core Values of Hanukkah That Are Super Relevant Right Now. Retrieved December 12, 2020, from https://www.kveller.com/8-core-values-of-hanukkah-that-are-super-relevant-right-now/